Answering Yet Another Holiday Crisis : Counseling: In their battle against child abuse, hot-line volunteers try to help Orange County parents keep their cool.

With Christmas approaching and California muddling through yet another year of recession, Jim Mead hears daily about the accumulated economic damage and the toll it has taken on Orange County families.

“It was bad before,” said the director of For Kids Sake International, “but with the recession, it’s worse.”

The hustle and bustle of the holidays is stressful for many. But for volunteers at For Kids Sake and other crisis centers serving Orange County, hectic takes on a whole new meaning this time of year, when the volume of calls can increase more than 200%.

“We get the mom who calls and says, ‘My kid wants this toy, and I don’t have the money . . . so I’m gonna kill my kids and kill myself,’ ” Mead said, adding that the escalated use of alcohol also plays a role in the increase of child abuse from Thanksgiving through New Year’s Day.

“Everybody’s stress level goes up . . . alcohol and kids don’t mix,” he said.

And today’s economy doesn’t help at this expensive time of year.

“Take your kids of aerospace workers,” Mead said. “They’re used to having a big Christmas, and dad or mom may have gotten laid off this year. . . . that’s a lot of pressure.”

National child abuse statistics show that America’s bleak financial picture may be hurting our children as well. An estimated 3 million children were reported to public social services and child protective agencies throughout the United States in 1992--an increase of nearly 50% since 1985. A third of the cases were determined to be abuse or neglect.

“I wish I could say it was going away, but it’s not,” Mead said.

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For Kids Sake International, headquartered for 17 years in Orange County, moved its operation to the Canyon Lake area of Riverside County a few years ago, where it orchestrates 5,000 volunteers throughout the United States in its battle against child abuse.

“It’s busy every year, and it’s starting to pick up now,” he said. When For Kids Sake was one of the only child-abuse hot lines in the Southland, he said, they would work 20-hour shifts during the height of the season. Although the center serves more as an information and resource center than a hot line these days, there are still some “heavy-duty” crisis calls that Mead answers himself.

“It’s been that way for years,” he said. “Some of these calls, you need someone with a lot of experience to handle them.”

Like those who work at For Kids Sake, the team of volunteer counselors at places such as the Hotline Help Center in Orange, and Parent Help U.S.A. in Newport Beach, also report an increase in the number of calls pertaining to child neglect and abuse during the holidays.

Marvin Sellers, director of services for the Hotline Help Center, says the center receives well over 50% more child abuse-related calls at this time of year, while Parent Help U.S.A.’s Sally Kanarek reports a threefold increase in such calls during the holidays.

“It just makes your heart sick,” said Sellers.

Elaine, a mother of three and a Cal State Fullerton student, says the crisis counseling she does at the center fills “a real need,” adding that she expects her Christmas Eve shift manning the phones to be more gratifying than being home. “My family is really supportive,” she said, “and these people need someone to talk to, someone that won’t be judgmental, someone who can validate their feelings.”

Kanarek, who refers to the holidays as “the tax season for child-abuse centers,” remembers when “Wendy” made a desperate call to Parent Help last Christmas, revealing that her electricity had been turned off for the past three months and that her daughter was afraid of the dark.

“She called for parenting classes, and we got her some additional help. . . . She said it was a miracle,” Kanarek said. “These families have pride . . . and we try to preserve their dignity.”

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Though more people reach out for help during the holidays, officials say the number of children brought into protective custody and the number of formal child abuse reports actually go down.

“The reason is just speculation on my part, but I’ll bet that there’s a lot of people who think that their kids have had it pretty tough lately and think they need to keep it together over the holidays,” said Gordon Andahl, program manager for the Orangewood Children’s Home.

He added that since children are out of school for two weeks in December, they are not with teachers, who report much of the abuse. There is also the feeling among families to stay together for Christmas, he said.

The number of reports to the Orange County Child Abuse Registry also decreases during the holiday months of November and December, but it starts to pick up again after the first of the year, according to Mike McMichaels, Orange County Children’s Services program manager. But overall, child-abuse reports have increased steadily in the county since the recession began, making the strained economy a suspicious part of the picture.

“Certainly, (the recession) has some effect . . . it’s a stresser,” McMichaels said.

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The most frustrating part of crisis counseling is the fact that it is not possible to help all the troubled parents and despondent people who call in, says John, a Los Angeles Police Department officer and volunteer at the Hotline Help Center. Last year, there were 17,426 calls logged at the 25-year-old center--and many of the callers hang up before the counselors can really help them.

“It makes you feel sad,” he said at the end of his morning shift. “You wish you could do for all these people . . . but you can’t do everything.”

Unfortunately, the holidays are also the season for suicide, with a 50% increase in the number of people taking their own lives reported in Orange County last year, Sellers said.

But the people behind the rows of red flashing lights are making a difference, catching all the stress they can in their emotional overflow bins. In 1991, the Hotline Help Center received 818 suicidal calls, and the coroner reported 254 actual deaths by suicide during that year.

“It shows that were doing some good,” Sellers said. “These people are just reaching out, and we’re here to help.”

Holiday Survival Tips for Parents

* Separate your kids from each other, giving them activities apart.

* Make sure both parents and children get plenty of rest between holiday activities.

* Don’t drink too much. Kids and alcohol don’t mix.

* Don’t overdo Christmas gifts and use of credit cards. Parents tend to take it out on kids when the bills come in.

* Recognize that children get stressed out too. Be understanding.

* Relax and take time for yourself. Things don’t have to be perfect to be fun.

* Take advantage of free holiday events and services.

* Try to plan ahead, giving even small children jobs to take the pressure off parents.

* Dress children comfortably for outings. Uncomfortable clothing means cranky children, and cranky children lead to cranky parents.

* If you do feel pressure mounting, don’t be afraid to ask for help. Phone a relative, friend or local hot line.

Hot Lines, Volunteer Opportunities and Services

Hotline Help Center

Referrals for suicide and crisis counseling

(714) 778-1000.

For Kids Sake International

Referral and child abuse information service

(909) 244-9001.

Parent Help U.S.A.

Parenting classes, child abuse information and assistance, volunteer opportunities.

(714) 723-7170

Parents Anonymous

Support groups for parents who abuse or fear they may abuse their children

(800) 421-0353.

CSP Youth Shelter

Crisis shelter and youth counseling

(714) 494-4311.