A Very Proper Island : Don’t tie him down with etiquette rules when the sun and sand beg for shorts

HAMILTON, Bermuda — I began to worry about Bermuda the day that the hotel’s confirmation notice arrived. It came complete with an unexpected warning: “Jacket and tie are required in the evening after 6 p.m.”

I knew the customs of this self-governing British colony were on the stuffy side--afternoon tea was in, nude sunbathing was definitely out. But in the evening after 6, I expected still to be floating in the green-gold ocean and sinking in the pink-flecked sand--which was sure to get that fancy attire all damp and mussed.

When I called the hotel for clarification, a desk clerk admitted that I probably wouldn’t be ejected for committing a tie tardiness. But in formal-yet-friendly tones, she added her own admonition: “You ought to know, sir, for your own information, that most of the gentlemen guests do wear them.”

I found myself timidly asking what kind of shoes were most appropriate, and wondering whether Bermuda was balmy in more than one sense of the word.

But I needn’t have been concerned about island etiquette, even in a place famous for finding a way to incorporate shorts into three-piece suits. Yes, many local restaurants do expect evening apparel, and certainly Bermudans overdress the local fish in heavy sauces. But other than that, the island is as casual as bougainvillea waving in a cool breeze, as easy as its warm waves sloshing onto soft sands. On Bermuda, at least when you get all dressed up, you have someplace to go.

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Just 500 miles off the coast of North Carolina, the rough, cold Atlantic is transformed around the isolated island into a warm and gentle saltwater pool. Bermuda’s transparent, reef-encircled waters--a sort of private tropical ocean--remain in the Caribbean-like high 70s from late spring to early fall.

After our afternoon arrival last spring at the Pink Beach Club and our first invigorating swim at one of the hotel’s two crescent beaches, my girlfriend and I settled into a pair of deck chairs and a daily rhythm.

We had breakfasts on our patio, prepared to our specifications by our maid, the pampering feature that had led us to choose the hotel in the first place.

We eyed the fast-flying clouds and surveyed the weather map in the local paper--a hand-drawn affair that managed each day to seem to place the tiny dot representing Bermuda in the path of some new storm front as large as the East Coast.

And then we tried to decide which was more true to the island’s carefree spirit: to casually explore the various attractions, or to casually lounge right where we were.

The truth is, we spent more time at our own hotel than on any vacation we can remember. That’s partly due to the charms of the Pink Beach, a cottage colony that has hosted the late Queen Wilhelmina of the Netherlands and former Prime Minister Brian Mulroney of Canada.

Our room was the size of a suite, and our patio led onto a landscaped lawn that in turn led onto an ample cove beach. The hotel’s hillside string of pink-and-white cottages, graced with the trademark Bermudan stepped-pyramid roofs (grooved in order to channel rainwater) provided views combining nature and architecture to compete with any on the island.

As a cottage colony--a Bermudan innovation meant to combine the low-key atmosphere of a housekeeping cottage with the amenities of an exclusive hotel--Pink Beach was somewhat too casual when it came to service. Procuring a cold drink meant a long trek uphill from the beach to the clubhouse or the tennis shop, neither of which was always open. And when it was time to leave, the front desk had trouble getting us a cab to the airport in time to make our plane.

But those complaints weren’t what drove us off the grounds to explore the rest of the island. The lure of a mere 21 square miles of land linked along a fishhook-shaped archipelago--Bermuda is actually made up of seven major islands and about 143 smaller ones--proved as irresistible as baking on our own beach.

Then there was the mode of travel, an adventure in itself. There are no rental cars on Bermuda’s network of two-lane, 20-mph roads. Visitors either learn to drive mopeds or rely solely on taxis and public buses. We opted for a two-person moped, trusted to fate, and tried to ignore the minor moped accidents we witnessed. Soon, we were zipping along past the palms and bluffs and lighthouses, getting as much of a kick out of the cycle as the scenery (this being part of Britain, driving is on the left side of the road).

We snaked our way to Bermuda’s western tip one day and the eastern end the next, measuring our progress beach by beach and cataloging them along the way. There was Elbow Beach, a wide but windy stretch of white sand so large that two huge hotels at each end virtually disappear into the background. Farther west was Warwick Long Bay, even longer than Elbow, but more comfortable and cozy, with its grassy hills and well-protected waters.

A couple of dramatic rocky coves past Warwick was much-busier Horseshoe Bay Beach, a postcard-perfect crescent that gathers together crowds of tourists and locals, who happily mix in calm waters of an impossibly bright aqua tinge. A sea floor as smooth and flat as a tennis court goes on and on, out to boulders where daredevils dive, and bathers walk and talk their way through the water as much as swim.

Past the Reefs, an elegant hotel with its fine waterside cafe, was rocky Church Bay, renowned for its snorkeling--but our moped basket didn’t have room to comfortably carry masks and flippers along with our other supplies. So we went on, along part of the island’s Railway Trail--the path of the dismantled Bermuda railroad now converted to a scenic pathway for walkers, cyclists and horses--until we reached the West End.

The only real attraction there was the grand collection of buildings that once made up the Royal Naval Dockyards, which Bermuda has been trying to turn into a tourist center of shops and craft stalls.

But it was the feel of the road and the breeze in our faces that we were after, and we reprised them the next day by steering east to the strange rock formations of the north shore beach at Tobacco Bay, and to the natural rock arches on a private beach in Tucker’s Town.

Along the way, when the weather turned cloudy, we also stopped in the old and new capitals of St. George and Hamilton--each with colorful buildings on an atmospheric harbor front.

Hamilton is cruise-ship friendly, with two-story department stores featuring sales on European fashions. St. George has many of the same stores on a smaller scale, along with preserved houses dating back to the 17th century.

Our only real difficulty, ultimately, was finding satisfying dining worthy of our dressing up. Though Tom Moore’s Tavern, in a 300-year-old mansion on Bailey Bay, lived up to our expectations, mostly we found the British-influenced Bermudan cuisine to be as heavy as its price tag.

After a few disappointments in which the local rum cocktail called the “Dark and Stormy” was the highlight of the meal, we gave up and ate Italian--in a restaurant called Tuscany on the Hamilton waterfront.

It was after 6 in the evening when we arrived. And they didn’t even require a jacket and tie.

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GUIDEBOOK: The Longs and Shorts of Bermuda

Getting there: American and US Airways fly, with one change of planes, between LAX and Bermuda. Advance-purchase, round-trip fares start at $790.

Getting around: There are no rental cars on Bermuda. Mopeds, for one or two people, cost $30 to $35 a day, including helmets and insurance. There are taxis.

Where to stay: From May to October, $250 to $350 a night for a better beachfront room is routine, plus 17% for service and taxes. Winter prices run as little as half. Here are some small hotels, all on south shore beaches with ocean-view rooms and pools. Rates quoted are for double occupancy, through October:

Pink Beach Club (tel. [800] 355-6161 or [441] 293-1666, fax [203] 655-2797) was our choice. It is a peaceful collection of pyramid-roofed cottages with two beaches, a tennis court and large, tasteful rooms with patios. The secluded location is minutes from the airport and Hamilton. Rates start at $340, including breakfast and dinner served in your room.

The Reefs (tel. [800] 742-2008 or [441] 238-0222, fax [441] 238-8372) is an elegant, small cliff-side hotel with a fine outdoor cafe overlooking its picturesque cove. Close to the best public beaches at Horseshoe Bay and Warwick Long Bay. Room 340, at the end of the cliff, has a view worth requesting. Rates start at $$348 and include breakfast and dinner.

Ariel Sands Beach Club (tel. [800] 468-6610 or [441] 236-1010, fax [441] 236-0087), an exclusive cottage colony owned by actor Michael Douglas. Rates start at $$330 with breakfast and dinner.

Stonington Beach Hotel (tel. [800] 447-7462 or [441] 236-5416, fax [441] 236-0371) is staffed by students of Bermuda’s Hospitality and Culinary Institute and known for the quality of its service, kitchen and beach. Starting rate of $$316 includes breakfast and service.

A more affordable alternative, White Sands Hotel and Cottages (tel. [800] 548-0547 or [441] 236-2023, fax [441] 236-2486), is nicely situated on a bluff above lovely Grape Bay. The beach is a two-minute walk down, perhaps four minutes back up. Rates start at $$250 and include breakfast and dinner.

The Splurge: Nearly a century old, Cambridge Beaches (tel. [800] 468-7300 or [441] 234-0331, fax [441] 234-3352) has 81 rooms and suites that occupy an entire peninsula with five beaches on the island’s extreme western end. Rates start at $395 and include breakfast, dinner and afternoon tea.

Where to eat: Tom Moore’s Tavern near Bailey’s Bay has fine, if expensive food (dinner for two, food only, is about $60), in a 300-year-old mansion (local tel. 293-8020). Tuscany is an affordable, colorful Italian restaurant (dinner for two, with a bottle of wine, runs about $65) with a terrace (tel. 292-4507). Plantation, also on Bailey’s Bay, is attractive and expensive: --a la carte entrees start at $22 (tel. 293-1188).

For more information: Bermuda Department of Tourism, 310 Madison Ave., Suite 201, New York, NY 10017; tel. (800) 223-6106, (212) 818-9800.

--A.H.