If C-Plus Wins, Then What’s This?

FORT WORTH, Texas — Tiger Woods did not win the golf tournament here Sunday. That’s the news, now stay tuned for the weather.

In 90-degree heat, oppressive humidity and under a tornado watch, even someone as good as Woods can suddenly turn into Any Other Golfer. Twice he double-bogeyed, the second time at the 17th hole, and that cost him the Colonial tournament and a third consecutive tour victory. Tiger shoots a 72 on a par-70 course? Stop the presses.

But oh, what a wild ride it has been. From the moment he won the Masters last month, Woods has been a man in demand. Even on a three-day getaway to Cancun, Mexico, the golfer was still so mobbed in public, the only way he could escape was to jet-ski to a nearby island.

Everyone wanted a piece of him. Oprah Winfrey got him, for a highly rated sit-down. President Clinton didn’t, when he invited Woods to join him at a Jackie Robinson 50th anniversary celebration. Sarah Ferguson, the former Duchess of York, got to give Woods a hug. Fergie sat beside Tiger’s mother, Kutilda Woods, at last weekend’s Byron Nelson Classic at Irving, Texas. If a certain super-market rag didn’t pounce on that angle, it was only because it was too busy depicting Woods and the Olympic track star, Michael Johnson, vying for the attentions of Sports Illustrated swimsuit cover model Tyra Banks, above whose head appeared the headline: “What’s a girl to do?” As usual, Woods found the whole thing ridiculous.

The past few weeks brought out the best in this 21-year-old, but the worst in some of his elders. First came the Fuzzy Zoeller flap. Then after Woods won the Byron Nelson with what he described as B-minus or C-plus golf, tour rival Brad Faxon took umbrage at the insinuation “that he has a C game and beats us.”

A number of PGA members resent Woods’ habit of grading his game that way, according to Faxon. As far back as December, he says, Faxon left a phone message for Woods to make him aware of what fellow players were saying. Tiger never responded to that call.

After the Colonial’s second round here Friday, the first words from Faxon’s mouth after shooting a 66 were: “I didn’t have my A game.”

The needle was in, fairly deep. Faxon continued to joke that he had played C-minus golf and that he was flying in his coaches for advice. Even while saying that Woods was the best thing to happen to golf for a long time, Faxon warned: “If he wants to have people like him, he’d better watch out. You don’t want to ostracize yourself from everybody.

“His super-stardom is creating that, whether he wants it or not.”

Woods says to his knowledge, Faxon is the only one who feels that way.

And, besides, golfers don’t worry him. Golf courses do.

Addressing how others react to him, Woods says, “If I’m a marked man, that’s fine. I have to play the golf course. If they’re trying to beat me, then that may help me out. They’re supposed to be playing the golf course, as well.”

If super-stardom can be costly to relationships, it also can create super-wealth. A deal that Woods just made with American Express will pay him between $25 and $30 million over the next five years. MasterCard, which sponsors the Colonial tournament, reportedly had been attempting to land Woods right up to last week, when American Express made its announcement. That’s the way it is. Everybody wants a piece.

One editorial cartoonist couldn’t resist a gag that proposed a match between Tiger and the IBM computer, Deep Blue.

Everyone wonders what Woods is capable of doing.

“He’s going to shoot in the 50s out here someday, no doubt about it,” golfer Lee Rinker says.

That day was not Sunday. After shooting 67-65-64, anything seemed possible. Woods was the Colonial’s leader until he reached the ninth hole, where he took a double-bogey six after dumping his approach shot in the lake guarding the green. He remained in contention, but flew the 17th green and then put his comebacker into a trap. Overcoming a double bogey is tough enough, but even a Tiger Woods can’t overcome two.

Even so, he came pretty close, on a course Woods had never played until last week. Call it a C-minus.

Those who follow the game--and many who don’t--remain curious as to what Woods will shoot next, endorse next, eat next, drink next. According to his agent, Hughes Norton, the young golfer orders food from McDonald’s drive-thru windows five times a day. Norton says with a laugh, “Nutrition doesn’t register on his radar screen.”

One can’t help but picture Tiger alongside Tyra, or the former Duchess of York, ordering onion rings through a loudspeaker.