Neither ‘Vibe’ Nor ‘Keenen’ Very Keen

Television’s newest late-night hours, “The Keenen Ivory Wayans Show” and “Vibe,” are hard to review. That’s because they’re hard to stay awake through.

Think of them as on-the-job training with commercials. These week-old syndicated talk shows that essentially target the young, urban crowd (code: black) have in common gaping tedium, acute vacuity and hosts--Wayans and Chris Spencer--who have done well in other venues but have yet to exhibit what it takes for this line of work.

What it takes is a quick, facile wit and the ability to have conversations with guests that someone would want to hear. It’s not a lot to ask. You know, tell an occasional joke that’s funny and produce an occasional question that doesn’t sound like it’s printed in foot-high block letters on cue cards.

Leno can do it, Letterman can do it. For God’s sake even Jerry Springer can do it. Even on their tiptoes, though, Wayans and Spencer seem a couple of yards in over their heads--”The Chevy Chase Show” revisited.

The biggest letdown at 11 p.m. is Wayans, because his show each night thunders from the gates with the frantic, primal energy of a toga party in “Animal House,” its great-looking female rockers pulsating and the sleek, stylish host throwing high-fives at the cheering multitudes through whom he jogs on a long, serpentine course to the front of the studio. Your expectations soar until he launches one of his trademark flat, minimalist greetings, as if zooming to his designated mark zaps all of his energy: “Well, we’re here again. Got another good show.” Thud.

About then you start wondering who’s on with PBS interviewer Charlie Rose.

Or you think about checking in with “Vibe,” which offers a wider musical menu than the Wayans show--music is what it does best--and a gleaming, high-tech hipness of its own, befitting a show positioning itself on the cutting edge. The cutting edge of what appears unclear, however--even to Spencer, a big, amiable teddy bear who seems at least to have host potential, but unfortunately was brought up to the majors about a year too soon.

Well, it’s not easy hitting the curve. And this isn’t work that everyone, however talented in other areas, can succeed at.

Late-evening talk shows are the Hydras of many faces that few ever master. Johnny Carson, the modern era’s maven deluxe, did it. Jay Leno and David Letterman do it now. Bill Maher has learned to do it, Conan O’Brien has gotten better at it. Arsenio Hall was in and out. Chase never came close to mastering it. Smug and arrogant, he was in flames from Night 1 of his brief shot on Fox in 1993.

Just where Wayans and Spencer fit on this food chain is speculative at this early stage, but nothing springs from their bios that necessarily qualifies them for their new jobs.

Wayans, also an executive producer of his show, is the filmmaker-elder statesman of his family’s blitzkrieg of television that includes two younger siblings starring in that clunker sitcom on the WB Network, “The Wayans Bros.,” and the former Fox series “In Living Color.” More than merely the creative juice behind much of that edgy and spasmodically hilarious hour of satirical sketches, Wayans was the show’s greeter and a prominent member of the cast. Notably, though, he was an awkward host and one of the cast’s weakest members, his performance skills never approaching those of his brother, Damon, or even of his sister, Kim. And he is proving on his new late-night hour that he is all thumbs with an interview or monologue.

And then there’s Spencer. Said to have been handpicked for “Vibe” by executive producers Quincy Jones and David Salzman, he’s a stand-up comic and actor whose pedigree also includes featured roles in such films as “Don’t Be a Menace to South Central While Drinking Your Juice in the Hood,” which was produced by, of all people, Keenen Ivory Wayans. In fact, Spencer’s bio lists Keenen’s brother, Damon, as one of his role models. He also lists Jack Paar. Maybe that got him the job.

These guys are scrapping for basically similar audiences, while hoping not to get lost in late-night’s thickening swarm of talkers (scheduled to add Magic Johnson in 1998). Wayans appears to have better prospects for long-term life given his lineup of generally stronger stations. As in Los Angeles, where his lead-in on KTTV-TV Channel 11 is the area’s No. 2-rated newscast at 10 p.m., compared with the less-watched news program that precedes “Vibe” on KCOP-TV Channel 13.

Not that it’s easy envisioning viewers of either news program--news watchers generally being older--waiting breathlessly en masse for Spencer to schmooze with Brandy or for Wayans to fawn over Jada Pinkett or “Baywatch” bauble Pamela Lee Anderson and her home movies.

Spencer’s opening celebrity last Monday was President Clinton (on tape), but on Wednesday he graduated to a bigger name in Demi Moore, who might as well have been on tape given the chemistry gap separating her from Spencer during her lackluster appearance to advertise her new movie, “G.I. Jane.” Why else do movie stars do talk shows?

His bigger success Thursday with Samuel L. Jackson, on hand to promote his movie, “187,” had less to do with Spencer than with Jackson, one of those reliably eager and effervescent guests who require no prodding. He got some anyway.

Spencer asked Jackson to name his favorite actor. Morgan Freeman, Jackson replied. “He could read the phone book and make it interesting.”

“I think you could make the phone book interesting,” said Spencer, producing a phone book that he just happened to have on hand.

So much for spontaneity, even though you’d have to say that Jackson giving a dramatic reading of the Yellow Pages beat Wayans and Pamela Lee.