Everybody’s So Defensive About This One

Gary Shelton of the St. Petersburg (Fla.) Times anticipates a grungy, throwback Super Bowl game.

“This is what we have. Grunts vs. groans. A great defense against an even better one. A mediocre offense against an even worse one. . . .

“New York vs. Baltimore. It could be 1958 all over again, except the offenses aren’t as progressive. Best linebacker gets a car. Best placekicker goes to Disney World. . . .

“This could be the lowest-scoring Super Bowl of all time. One touchdown might win it, and two might be running up the score.”

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More Super Bowl: Bernie Lincicome in the Rocky Mountain News: “The Giants are big on guarantees, the famous pledge of Coach Jim Fassel to make the playoffs being escorted by the New York press into legend, never mind it was as puny a promise as an elevator operator announcing the next floor.

“But thanks to the Vikings digging themselves into a hole, pulling the dirt on top of themselves and muttering their own eulogy, the Giants are suddenly being touted as an authentic, complete, fearsome football team.”

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Trivia time: Who holds the Laker record for three-point shooting percentage in a season?

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Clip and save: On Fox Sports Net’s “The Last Word With Jim Rome,” Rick Reilly of Sports Illustrated predicts Michael Jordan will be “out of Washington in four years, just like George Bush.”

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Sneaky trick: The New York Giants beat the Chicago Bears, 30-13, for the NFL title on Dec. 9. 1934, in what was called the “Sneakers Game.” On an icy day at the Polo Grounds, the Giants were trailing, 13-3, in the third quarter before they switched from cleats to basketball shoes--and rallied to win.

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Fashion flops: Former NBA player Slick Watts, on today’s players wearing headbands: “You have to have a game. There’s nothing more aggravating than seeing a guy wearing a headband and shooting airballs.”

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Ominous ring: A verse titled “Midnight Sweats,” from Blackie Sherrod of the Dallas Morning News:

“College coach awoke at the ring

His instincts were never keener.

He said a prayer as he lifted the phone

That the charge was a misdemeanor.”

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Shaq won’t go for it: NBA commentator and former coach Doug Collins on NBC: “Whereas Michael [Jordan] was a clear No. 1 in Chicago, and Scottie [Pippen] was No. 1A, with Kobe’s improvement, who is No. 1 in L.A.?

“Kobe and Shaq can both be No. 1A if they want to win the championship.”

Adding to the controversy is this headline in the Portland Oregonian: “Waa-Waa Land,” “Family Feud” meets “All My Children.”

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Rough life: Venus Williams, homesick while playing in the Australian Open, misses her Yorkshire terrier, Pete.

“I’m so afraid for him, he’s so tiny that only I can take care of him,” Williams said. “I need to know where he is at all times, so it’s tough for me.”

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Looking back: On this day in 1995, the Rams made it official, announcing they were leaving Southern California after 49 years and moving to St. Louis.

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Trivia time: Byron Scott, .436 in 1986-87.

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And finally: Jim McCabe in the Boston Globe: “With John Daly, boredom is never part of the equation. He showed up at the Touchstone Energy Tucson Open and got a good look at the course--The Gallery--being used for the first time.

“A 690-yard par-five ninth hole had been advertised as unreachable, so Daly naturally made it home in two shots: a 410-yard drive [he caught a downslope] and a one-iron from 280 yards.”