TWO-MINUTE DRILL

SATURDAY

Atlanta 30, Tampa Bay 28: With Buccaneers eliminated, Gruden can sleep in until 4:17 a.m. if he wants.

Minnesota 45, Kansas City 20: Pay-per-view bouts next weekend to feature members of Chiefs’ defense.

New England 21, N.Y. Jets 16: The last time the Patriots lost, Rush Limbaugh still worked for ESPN.

SUNDAY

St. Louis 27, Cincinnati 10: Bengal fans might not need those playoff tickets after all.

Miami 20, Buffalo 3: Dolphins finally win on the road in December, but they still fail to make the playoffs.

Carolina 20, Detroit 14: Mariucci’s team is the worst performer on the road since the Yugo.

Chicago 27, Washington 24: A couple of more road wins and the Bears would be in postseason contention.

Baltimore 35, Cleveland 0: Browns might want to draft a run-stopper come April. It’s just a thought.

Dallas 19, N.Y. Giants 3: With the Cowboys in the playoffs, Jerry Jones will have his game face on.

Tennessee 27, Houston 24: Memo to AFC playoff teams: Steve McNair is hurt, and you may be in trouble.

Jacksonville 20, New Orleans 19: As you read this, John Carney is walking back to Louisiana.

Pittsburgh 40, San Diego 24: Steelers take solace in their 2-1 record against teams from California.

Seattle 28, Arizona 10: Cardinals to play Lions at a neutral site, see whether either can win.

San Francisco 31, Philadelphia 28: Owens breaks collarbone, doctors decide to wire his jaw shut.

Denver 31, Indianapolis 17: Who needs Clinton Portis when you have Quentin Griffin and Mike Anderson?

TONIGHT

Green Bay at Oakland, 6, Ch. 7: Plenty of bad blood remains from Super Bowl II. Umm, maybe not.

-- Dave Bennett