Giving kids a chance

Deirdre Newman

* EDITOR’S NOTE: All the children’s names have been changed in this

story to protect their identities.

As a teenager, Roger was neglected by his family.

Suffering from low self-esteem, poor hygiene and a general feeling of

isolation, Roger often expressed his emotion in violent outbursts.

“I was a monster,” Roger admits.

But Roger, now 16, is more prone to laughter than rage these days. His

new attitude is a result of his experience with South Coast Children’s

Society, which serves abused and neglected children in group homes and

intimate school settings.

South Coast, based in Costa Mesa, takes on children and teens who have

failed or been rejected at other agencies because of severe behavioral

problems. The goal is to move them back into their own homes, when

possible, and into public schools.

In the past two weeks, four children were reunited with their

families. The center’s employees use a relational approach that focuses

on trust and respect.

“Coming from abuse and neglect, these children didn’t have a voice,”

said Terence Flannigan, program manager at one of the residential houses.

“We want to hear their concerns, and they respond very well to that.”

South Coast started in Costa Mesa 17 years ago with a six-bed

residential facility. It’s grown to six group homes in Costa Mesa,

Newport Beach and Fountain Valley. It also offers two schools for

children who do not do well in a traditional academic setting, including

some from Newport-Mesa Unified School District.

While the organization originally served only boys, it has expanded to

serve girls as well, and recently opened its first group home for girls.

The two schools offer a high student-teacher ratio with an average

class size of 12 students. Each student has an individualized education

program. The approach favors behavior modification, but also offers a lot

of life skills, such as building a resume, Department of Motor Vehicle

information and community awareness.

The format has proven effective with students such as Morgan, who was

kicked out of various schools before finding a home with South Coast.

“It’s better because there’s not as many other students. There’s more

one on one,” Morgan, 15, said.

Morgan’s artistic side has flourished at South Coast’s schools through

writing poetry and drawing.

“He’s the most creative student I have,” said teacher Dee Dever, who

acknowledges the obstacles South Coast’s children must deal with.

“A lot of times, what’s happened with these kids is adults have told

them they can’t do something,” Dever said. “We try to let them know this

is a safe environment, both physicallyand emotionally.”

The same focus is evident at the group homes, such as the one on a

quiet residential street in Costa Mesa. This is where Roger lives with

five other boys.

“There’s hardships, sometimes,” Roger admits. “I get along with most

of them, but I have my bad days, and they have their bad days.”

The warm, inviting home has a spacious living room, dining room,

family room area, three bedrooms and a backyard and patio area.

There’s also a room for a therapist to work with each child. In

addition to a formal session once a week, therapist Tina Noel sees each

boy for a little bit every day. The home also provides family therapy and

group therapy. Since the goal is to enable the child to go back to living

with his family, the family therapy is critical, said Ed Volk, deputy

director.

“Kids that have committed family members get better faster,” Volk

said. “But sometimes the parents are so burned by the child that they

need to see growth on the child’s part first.”

For some children, though, going back to their family is not an

option. Thirteen-year-old Ron’s parents are both deceased. He lived with

an aunt and uncle for a while, but his behavior got so out of control

that they felt their own children were at risk. Ron ended up neglected.

Through South Coast, his behavior has changed, and his vivacious

personality has emerged.

“When I first came, I was very violent. Now I’ve calmed down,” Ron

said. “I’ve learned how to not fight.”

Ron said he especially likes participating in the household

responsibilities that can lead to special privileges.

One of the challenges of working with kids who are so emotionally raw

when they first come is discipline, Volk said.

“With kids in social services, you have to be more creative in

interventions because you don’t have the strong arm of the law. You have

to utilize your relationship with the child. That means a lot of

emotional bank account deposits.”

Since its homes and schools are in residential areas, South Coast has

tried to maintain a low profile in the communities it serves to avoid

controversy, said James Rocke, executive director.

“There are some prejudices in the community, and we feel like our

community has the right to live and grow up where everyone else does,”

Rocke said.

When the organization made plans to open the Costa Mesa school, it

encountered some reservations from the community. Councilman Gary

Monahan, who was mayor at the time, helped to dispel residents’ concerns.

“There was a lot of fear that they were dangerous types of people,

which they’re not,” Monahan said. “You had to convince people that these

are just kids that need help.”

Monahan helped shepherd the school’s approval process through the

council based on his respect and support for South Coast’s philosophy.

More recently, a group of Newport Beach residents has joined forces to

set up a foundation to raise funds for the organization.

Steve Daxer attended an event with some of the South Coast kids and

was impressed with their conduct.

“They were all really well-behaved and seemed great,” Daxer said.

“They came from backgrounds that were sometimes pretty terrifying.”

Daxer hopes the foundation can help raise money for the homes, the

schools, and in the future some scholarships for college and vocational

schools.

South Coast also hopes to expand its realm and become a full-service

agency by creating a foster family division to help get its clients out

of group homes and into loving families.

“It’s so easy to fall in love with [our kids],” Volk said. ‘We work

with some hard-to-reach kids. All these kids have failed other programs,

so they’ve made a lot of strides here.”

FYI

South Coast Children’s Society will host a Christmas party Dec. 16 and

will be accepting gifts, toys and financial donations throughout the

holiday season. Information: (949) 722-4070.