SOUNDING OFF:

If you eat, you’re probably aware that the price of food is rising. Even if you live by that venerable motto, “You can’t be too rich or too thin,” you need to be aware that the energy crisis and the food crisis are intertwined.

Food requires energy to grow, process, transport and market.

Bio-fuels, “making gas out of corn or whatever,” are increasing in popularity, even if it often takes more energy to produce them than its worth. But don’t worry. There’s a new bio-fuel about to change the world, maybe even save the world.

Matzoh.

Fortunately, the Middle East is planning to turn over tens of thousands of additional acres and hectares to farming the delicate matzoh plant.

Therefore, unlike corn, there will not be a nasty shortage. In the interim if you want to get rich, buy matzoh futures. And if you want to stay thin, eat matzoh.

My story begins three years ago in, of all places, Israel. Professor Yossi S. B. Falafel, Ph.D., a world-renowned archeo-botanist specializing in edible fossils, was gearing up for a trip into the desert, in search of fossilized matzohs from the time of the Exodus.