KIDS THESE DAYS:

It seems appropriate this year to keep our material holiday desires in check. That may not be an opinion embraced by retailers, but there is a greater good at stake here. Call me an idealist if you will, but much of me is hoping that the tough economic times will help parents realize what they can live without.

It’s more than just deciding to hold off on the new HDTV or the new car. The philosophy of consumption has contributed more to the breakdown of the American family than any other reason.

When both parents decide to go to work, the nation loses a fundamental anchor to good family life. With both parents working, kids are raised by relatives or strangers during the day, instead of a parent. Parents go to work to try to create a better life for themselves and their families, but often, that second income goes to pay for extras, for things parents want, not need.

And as I have pointed out many times, working costs money. To calculate the cost of a job — and as a result, the true net income the job provides — one must add the cost of commuting, daily lunches, clothing and many other extras.

Then there are larger considerations such as taxes. In some cases, the additional income pushes parents into a higher tax bracket, which could negate some of the income generated by the second job.

But wait, there’s more. Some of this would not be so bad if Americans paid cash for the things we want, but we do not. The president said this year that we are drunk on oil. I believe we’re also drunk on credit.

Our national credit card debt was $2.55 trillion at the end of 2007. Much of that debt is for the aforementioned wants, not needs, and the ongoing commitment to paying off the credit cards keeps people working far beyond the time when they could have quit.

It is true that some homes where both parents work are doing so to avoid poverty or welfare. Those parents are at one end of a bell curve.

Those of us in the middle are the ones for whom work has become a way to provide a lifestyle beyond our means. In our rush to live off money that we have not yet made, we have sacrificed time with our children.

I know all about these families in the middle. The year 2008 marks the 10th anniversary of a weird set of circumstances that put me in touch with thousands of them. I learned from them what I have just relayed to you today; that when the addition for the wants is done and coupled with the payments we make to others to do work for us — including raising our kids — many second incomes are not necessary or could be supplanted by part-time work.

Next year could mark a dramatic change in one family expense that is consuming an increasing proportion of our disposable income.

In 2009, a new debate will begin over the nation’s healthcare system, and early indications are that the new administration will have more success at reforms than did President Clinton.

In the meantime, healthy families can investigate so-called “catastrophic coverage,” which is a healthcare policy with a high deductible — anywhere from $1,000 to $7,500 — that will cover families when they have a serious accident or illness but obligates them to pay out-of-pocket for the sniffles and sprains.

Often, premiums can be cut in half.

This year, one of the great gifts you can give yourself and your children is an honest evaluation of just how much income you really need.

You may find that the second income doesn’t really bring in all that much, and that a part-time position, perhaps even one in another industry or profession, will be enough to cover your expenses.

In the meantime, I urge you to contribute to any one of a number of worthy charities in Newport Beach and Costa Mesa.

Money is always good, but they will also take your contributions of things that you wanted, not needed, such as good used clothing, furniture and electronics.

STEVE SMITH is a Costa Mesa resident and a freelance writer. Send story ideas to [email protected].