CINDY, INCIDENTALLY:

There comes a moment in everyone’s life when we discover that the holiday’s — while absolutely darling with activities like decorating gingerbread houses, baking cookies and drinking spiked eggnog — can also be riddled with stress, bouts of depression and can trigger feelings most of us spend repressing all year long.

For some reason, when Bing Crosby starts crooning about “White Christmas” and lights twinkle from Christmas trees, the holiday blues can arise, and it can feel like everyone else is enjoying the holidays and you’re just a moody Grinch.

But the truth is that aside from the characters on made-for-TV movies on the Lifetime Channel, it’s typical to deal with feelings of sadness, anxiety or even stress during this happy season. Chalk it up to high expectations, family pressures and residual issues from the past or simply chalk it up to the hype of a season that never looks like it does in the movies.

“The spirit gets by people because they are so busy and worried, and it can be overwhelming if you put too much pressure on everything,” said Victoria Bloom, licensed clinical psychologist and Huntington Beach resident. “We all have this idea that everyone else is having a wonderful Christmas … everyone thinks that. But the fact is that everyone has something going on during the holidays.”

Maybe it’s a recent breakup, the first Christmas after a divorce, a job loss, financial worries or just the basic trials and tribulations that can arise when you put family together. This can involve everything from sibling rivalry, mother-daughter issues to having to sit at the children’s table because you don’t have any of your own yet.

So what’s the best way to decompress, so you aren’t taking whiskey shots at your Aunt Carmen’s house or just skipping out on the festivities?

Here are a few tips:

 Make a list of things you enjoy and do one every day. “We often forget what makes us feel better,” Bloom said. “Take a walk, work out, see friends ...”

 Keep things in perspective and breath. “Make feeling relaxed a goal rather than having the best Christmas ever,” Bloom said. “Try to stay present.”

 When it comes to negative feelings just notice how you feel and don’t judge or analyze.

 Talk back to the negative feelings.

 Know that this too shall pass. A new feeling will come along and whatever or whoever is stressing you out will eventually go away.

CINDY ARORA is a freelance writer. She may be reached at [email protected].